Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Updated my Homepage

I've spent the last 8 hours sitting at my computer, working on creating a new personal homepage. Ack. Its been arduous. My knees and neck hurt. Everything is stiff. Now I'm sitting back, having a cocktail, glad that I've done something I've been meaning to do for 5 years...

Please check out:

Joko Londo's House


I'm waking up from a dream. I was at my parents house, although it wasn't really their house. They owned it, but it wasn't where they live now or anyplace they've ever lived. It reminded me more of the house I rented in '92-'93 with Matt, Dana & Rob. In any case, I was walking through the kitchen and I noticed my mother was having problems with the dishwasher. The door wouldn't stay shut properly, and so the machine kept turning itself off. I looked at the latch and noticed it was tweaked, so I thought I could just bend it back the other way a bit and ... SNAP. The plastic thing broke clean off in my hand. Hmmm...

Mind you, in real life, I am a clothes washer and dryer salesman by trade. That should qualify me to fix the darn D/W, right? At least in my own mind it does. In the dream, I inspect the latch and see two extremely tiny holes which seemingly could be used to screw the latch to the frame. The screws may have popped out onto the kitchen floor somewhere, but a search of the linoleum reveals nothing. I did however, come up with a few random screws of various sizes that I pulled out of the bottom of my tool box. Actually, I didn't see my tool box in the dream, they were suddenly just there. At this point, my Dad walks into the kitchen. I explain what's going on, and he says, "well, you'll have to come down to the basement to order the parts you'll need." Still convinced I can jerry-rig the thing, I resist this suggestion and proceed to try to make these odd shape screws fit the task at hand, I'm doing my best to get these other screws into these holes, but it eventually dawns on me that he was right. The only screws that'll fit are the ones specific to this Bosch dishwasher.
At least I know in my mind that I won't have to venture into my Father's lair to get what I need. I have a laptop with a wireless Internet connection! I can go to and get the parts I need just by knowing the model number of the machine. I'm much pleased with myself - momentarily. Two other fears crash down upon me. First, without an operative latch, there's going to be no way to open the dishwasher, and so all the dishes that are in there now will be inaccessible, thus I'm depriving my family from important tableware. Secondly, I think to myself that I may have stripped the inside threads of these screwholes, ruining them. Its about here that I wake up...

What does this dream mean? The dishwasher is obviously my relationship to work. I know what to do, but that doesn't prevent me from messing it up. The dishes are my future family. I can't get at them because I don't make enough money. The screws show that I always try to do things my way, and can be quite stubborn about it. Fine when it works, but sometimes disastrous when things go wrong. My relationship with my father in the dream is very much like my relationship with my father in real life. Something I'll go into more later.


Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The start of the journey

Ahem.. ahem... Is this thing on? Testing!! Checkkkkk! Syballance.. syballance..

Okay, thus begins my first foray into blogging. I apprach this online journal not without experience, however. Somewhere out there are my journals, which I kept from 1986 to 1996. Nearly two thousand pages in several tomes; all of which disappeared at 612 Broderick St in SF. My future wife and I lived there for several years. Somehow, my journals vanished during that time.

I call the blog "Thirst" after a personal belief I have in why suffering exists in the world. I happen to be of the opinion that there is an all-powerful, all-loving, all-knowing God out there who has a plan for creation. I'm a theological determinist. The problem is how does one rectify an omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent God with genocide, famine, racism and oppression? Again, I don't believe in free will, which is just an illusion.

Think about the following: The glass of lemonade tastes much better to the person who is dying of thirst than to one who has just drank.

Humanity has been made to suffer so profoundly in our time, so much "evil" exists in our time because God is making us "thirsty" for something else. We've been allowed to stray from universal oneness for a time in order to bring about the profound changes in our physical world we around us. Without secular individualism, there would be no modern capitalism. Without capitalim, no Industrial Revolution, and then no technology and you would not be reading these words right now. Now, we're being made "thirsty" to return to where we once were, and some cultures never left - communal oneness with each other and God.