Multicultural Gaffe

Maybe I should change the name of this blog to "The Quik Stop Journal," as I have yet another anecdote to relate about the corner store and my dealings there. Last night, as I wandered into the Quik Stop, the new Eritrean guy who works there nightly was there with a new guy behind the counter. They were chatting away in their native tongue. I didn't recognize the new guy, but as I have related earlier, I tend to get to know each of the successive clerks who man the counter down the street. The current regular guy is a rather dour type. He's not very friendly and like the previous guy (see the post "Nomoska Kid"), makes occasional comments about the nature of what his customers are buying. I could tell from just a few moments observation that the new guy he was chatting with was much more animated, and I decided to show off my multicultural knowledge once again.

"Wassalamu Alaikum!" I spoke the Arabic greeting known in every Moslem land throughout the world. Eritrea is almost entire Moslem. I knew the dour guy was Moslem, and I just assumed his buddy was too. Normally, the phrase I spoke has to be followed by "Amalaikum Salam". It's automatic. That is what they are supposed to say immediately. There is none of the options in response that one would have with English greeting "How are you?". No response came. Instead, there was an eerie silence as they just stood there, saying nothing.

Mind you, there is a certain irony about using a Moslem greeting at a store when the sole thing you have gone there for is to buy a half pint of booze, clearly forbidden by Islam.

As the regular clerk was processing my transaction, I noticed the new guy was actually physically backing away from the counter. Not only was he not responding to my comment, he seemed to be recoiling in horror. It was an extremely awkward moment, but I couldn't, by Allah, figure out what I had done wrong. The I saw what was printed on the new Eritrean guy's T-shirt.

There, in 5 inch high letters, reminisicent of those white message T-shirts made famous by the Wham! video in mid 80's, was emblazon on the guy's shirt, "MARY IS MY GOD". Beneath the words were a picture of the Virgin Mary holding a baby Jesus. Oh. That would explain it. (Never mind that the phrase itself violates the First Commandment, but who am I to judge).

It seemed to me an apology was in order. "I'm sorry, man," I said, "I came in here saying what I said, and now I see your shirt. My mistake."

"Yes," the new guy stepped forward, frantically pointing at the Virgin Mary, "I am not just a Christian, I am a CATH-O-LIC!!" He really did say each syllable distinctly and in allcaps. I slid out of there before I started another East African religious war.

Jasmine suggested a remove the artsy, wire, 3-foot-long cross thing that hangs in our bedroom and carry it down there, exclaiming, "Hail Mary full of grace!" the next time I go down to the QuikStop. At least I could buy alcohol without guilt, although a box of condoms would be suitably ironic. I think I'll just avoid trying to relate to the complicated international situation at the QuikStop for a while.